Dealing with a difficult colleague

Last week I had a problem with one of my employees. She refused to do one of my orders with emotionally expressing that she should finish other things. I was sooo angry and it didn't go that well. Here are some modern management methods for dealing with that. Easier said than done :))

• Breathe long and deep. It makes you think positive. It is also good for your health.
• Don't take it personally. Most of the times the reason he/she acts is not you. Maybe lots of work, maybe a personal problem. In my case it was because she had lots of work and stress.
• When you feel the tension is rising, focus on first on listening rather than on arguing. I should have cooled down, not shout out loud. I know, it is so difficult.
• Ask for Clarification. Make sure you have understood the problem. Maybe what she/he needs is your help.
• Separate, in your mind, the person's professional role from his or her difficult personality. Focus only on the professional contribution you need. Don't engage on an emotional level. Maybe you don't like the person. Maybe some behaviour gets you irritated. But remember, she/he is one of the ones of your company/department, part of your team and has a contribution to your success.
• Say your message in as few words as possible. The less you say, the more likely you are to be heard.
• Generally - Have an Open Door Policy. When people feel that you are approachable, they don't bring issues till the crisis point.